@AllieJane & I Talk Dead Pets
Allie: I'm gonna read this memoir about all the times i've found my pets dead, or my experiences with dead pets rather.
Me: Growing up most of my pets were hit by cars. Except, like my hamster who got out of his cage and disappeared. So I got another hamster. Then I found the first one and put them in the cage together and they fought til the (near) death. So I had to return this like, bloody hamster to the pet store
Me: And they were like "wtf did you do"
Allie: And you were all, "twasn't me, twas this other hammy, chill brah"